


fetish

by The_Empress_of_Everything



Series: per deim [8]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, The Author Regrets Everything, what is this shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 10:08:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Empress_of_Everything/pseuds/The_Empress_of_Everything
Summary: fetish: noun1. an excessive and irrational devotion or commitment to a particular thing.(Thanks, I hate it.)





	fetish

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what this is. Figures that after nearly a year's absence, the first thing I post is a shitpost. You’re welcome??

“Thanks, I hate it.”

“Oh c’mon, Sakura-chan, it’s so cool!”

“No. No it’s not cool, Naruto. This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen, and I was forced to watch you make a fool of yourself last year on Halloween when you dressed up like a drag queen Jiraiya.” 

“Sakuraaaa….”

“No. I let you get away with _so much_ , Naruto. **_So. Much._** This is where I put my foot down. This is the hill I die on.” 

“Please, it’s just a pair of ramen pants. Why are you so upset, Sakura? Let the idiot get them.”

She fixed him with a steely look and Sasuke felt a tiny sliver of fear tap-dance up and down his spine. Sakura was chill and easygoing right up until the moment she wasn’t. 

“Listen, if we let him get the ramen pants today, next week it’ll be a ramen tracksuit. After that, who knows? Ramen underwear? Custom ramen shoes? A ramen car wrap? Where will it end? I know your life goal is to become the mascot for ramen, but it has to stop somewhere. Consider this an intervention for your fetish, Naruto.

“Ok, but a ramen car wrap would be pretty sick, Sacchan.” His best friend just stared at him. “And hey! I don’t have a ramen fetish! I have a ramen appreciation!”

This time, both Sakura and Sasuke exchanged looks of incredulous bewilderment, then around at Naruto’s apartment. 

“Just keep telling yourself that, bud,” Sakura muttered, kicking his Ichiraku  slides out of the way. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

**Author's Note:**

> {Fun fact, the ramen shoes, underwear, and tracksuit all exist.}


End file.
